no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize