dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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