I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
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I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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