two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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