happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize