so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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