I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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