I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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