I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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