Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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