D3 body, D1 cock
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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