So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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