Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Pooping to opera.
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