i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm like, not good at living.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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