so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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