so let's talk penis.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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