Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize