I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize