if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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