i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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