Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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