my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize