Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh god the rape fog is back!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize