You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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