Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize