Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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