things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
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Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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