So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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