and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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