those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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