Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize