Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize