Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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