god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize