Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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