her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize