I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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