I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize