Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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