I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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