ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize