Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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