And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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