whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
