We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
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