i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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