He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize