just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
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Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize