I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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