So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I will pee on everything he values.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize