White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize