I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize